


I Don't Hate You.

by fabricsofteners



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Leon is doing his best to be there, POV Fukawa Toko, Past Abuse, Romantic Soulmates, Toko has a stutter, danganronpa school mode, they're in LOVE your honour, toko is exceptionally mentally ill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:34:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23548489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fabricsofteners/pseuds/fabricsofteners
Summary: Toko Fukawa had accepted that her soulmate will want nothing to do with her. That's okay.She doesn't mind.She can handle being alone. It's okay....Except it kind of isn't okay.
Relationships: Fukawa Touko/Kuwata Leon, Toko Fukawa/Leon Kuwata
Comments: 7
Kudos: 37





	I Don't Hate You.

**Author's Note:**

> My hand slipped.
> 
> I projected onto Toko too hard so it's really focused on her.

Toko Fukawa did not have time to worry about her soulmate. She had much bigger things going on than some person who would probably just find her too ugly to actually be with anyway. 

So even when she saw random words and phrases appear messily on her skin, she paid mostly no mind. Of course, curiosity overwhelmed her when she saw whoever it was on the other end write 'song lyrics' ahead of a short jumble of words - though, for the life of her she couldn't find the song they were from. 

Sometimes her soulmate would try and start up a conversation. They would write things like 'hey! i'm bored. you free?' even after all the times they did and she didn't respond. 

Toko rarely wrote on her arms. She was pretty confident in her memory, though occasionally she would jot a few things down in lack of a notebook. 

Simple things - she wrote the brief summary of one of her books on the inside of her wrist once, to which her soulmate replied 'yoo that sounds sick!' 

… That had, admittedly, been one of her favourite books to write. She always hoped her soulmate had found it and read it. 

The only time she had actually interacted with them via their skin-ink-link was brief - Toko had written down the name of a protagonist she was plotting a story for (Natsuki Saito) and her soulmate had asked 'is that you?' Toko's reply had been a quick, somewhat panicked 'no.' 

She didn't care about her soulmate; but that didn't mean she wanted them going around thinking random girls were her. 

  
Then came the day Toko Fukawa woke up in the acclaimed Hope's Peak Academy with a lapse in her memory. 

She immediately pushed away from everyone as their 'headmaster Monokuma' as the bear called itself explained they would be helping him make new bodies. Which didn't sound great, in Toko's opinion. She had much more important things to do than help an animatronic bear do it's dirty work. 

That night, though, as Toko had been changing from her uniform to her pajamas when she caught the quickest glimpse of writing on the inside of her wrist. 

'Monokuma = headmaster?  
kidnapped / can't remember' 

It was clearly notes that were jotted down recently. Really? Could she be so unfortunate to be spending the next god-knows-how-long with her soulmate as one of fourteen other people? 

She groaned, tugging at the bangs on her head. If they found out, they would reject her and she would have to live in the same school as them her entire life, or until the goddamn bear let them out. 

… 

No less, Toko picked up the pen that sat next to the notepad on her desk and huffed before she wrote under the note on her wrist. 

'Are you in Hope's Peak?' 

It took a few minutes for them to reply, and Toko half-wondered if maybe her soulmate was as panicked as her - Ugh… she thought over all the people with her… Most of them wouldn't be terrible… 

Of course, she had no faith that the ones that weren't terrible would ever be interested in her. They'd end up like her father, not caring about the soulmate thing and sleeping around… 

End up with a child they didn't want (technically two, though Toko was the only one to live…) like her parents, maybe treat the child like she had been-

Toko shook her head. This wasn't the time to delve into her trauma. She returned her attention to her wrist, where a message had been returned to her. 

'yeah! holy shit, are you, too?' 

This… was bad. This was really bad. 

'Yeah.' 

She left it at that, tossing the pen back onto her desk and letting herself fall back onto her bed, putting her hands over her eye. 

This situation… could not get worse, could it? 

The next morning, Toko took extra care to have her arms covered with her sleeves. She wasn't ready to face this situation. She probably never would be, mind you, but especially the day after finding out just how close they had to be. 

She couldn't help the way she glanced around, though, at all her classmates. Most of them were wearing long sleeves - bar Junko Enoshima, who had her sleeves rolled up, and Sakura Oogami, who's sleeves were torn at the shoulders. On the brightside, she knew it wasn't them.

… 

A few minutes into breakfast, it seemed Aoi Asahina was off the table too as she stood up suddenly, pointing at Sakura, yelling "You!"

Sakura, who had multiple drawings of flowers on her arm, watched in shock as Hina shrugged off one of her sleeves, revealing the same drawings spreading across her arms. 

"Ah…" Sakura's eyes widened as Hina crossed the room to stand next to her, "I drew them to calm myself down. What a turn of events…" 

Toko looked pointedly away as the two shared a hug and immediately began talking. Some of the others clapped for them - Toko wasn't one. She stared down at her toast, taking a bite before sighing softly. 

She would never get that. If her soulmate found out… She didn't want to find out. Her mothers had reminded her plenty of times she wasn't lovable. She had accepted that long ago - why else would she strictly right romance? She was living vicariously through her protagonists. They were likable, they had traits and appearances that people liked… 

Toko didn't. She had been reminded plenty of times that she was ugly, and her personality was awful, and that was okay. She got used to it. 

… 

The only bright side of her residence in Hope's Peak, unwilling or not, was that she wasn't seeing her mothers or father any more. They couldn't torment her now, and that was… a plus. 

No less. Toko only felt slightly better with that, running her finger over her wrist where those words were, closing her eyes. She was so close to them, yet she could never let them find out. She couldn't face that. She refused. 

"Toko!" 

Toko jumped, eyes snapping open. Makoto Naegi was smiling at her curiously, and she realized she had zoned out. 

"Sorry," He apologized, putting his hands up, "Didn't mean to startle you! But… we need to search for supplies, so I was wondering if you could search the library with Byakuya?" 

She looked up. Byakuya Togami was waiting for her, looking exceptionally bored. He was tall and blonde - if she wanted her soulmate, she wouldn't mind it being him. 

"O-Okay," she nodded at Makoto, standing up. She quickly took her dish to the kitchen before returning to the dining hall, joining Byakuya in walking to the library. 

"I will ask you stay away from me," he told her, pushing the door open, "I do not wish to speak, I simply want to accomplish what has been asked of us and to return home." 

Jeez… Someone pissed in his cheerios. 

"O-Okay, no p-problem." she nodded at Byakuya, immediately going to one side of the library, watching as he went to a door on the other side, pushing it open. He stepped inside, and Toko was positive she wouldn't see him again until they were done searching. 

Makoto, who had taken charge apparently, had given everyone a bag for supplies and a notepad to keep track of everything they found. 

It was tiring, scanning every single bookshelf for anything of note. By the end of the day, her bag weighed heavy on her back with all the books, and she huffed as she left the library, scanning over her sheet of paper. 

Programming Textbook - 3  
Recipe Book - 2  
Sci-Fi Novel - 3  
Notebook - 2  
Boxcutter - 4  
Monokuma Photo Album - 1

She had no idea how any of this would be useful… but it was what Makoto told her to look for. 

Toko made her way to the dining hall, where a few others were sitting and talking - she wasn't interested in such. She set the bag and paper down on a table and abruptly left, heading straight to her room. 

As soon as she reached it, she layed on her bed and curled up, setting her glasses on the desk and closing her eyes. A nap never hurt. 

  
She woke up to aggressive knocking on her door, and she groaned as she stood up to get it. She shoved her glasses on her face as she made her way to the door. She cracked it open the smallest bit, finding herself looking at Makoto Naegi once more. 

"Hey Toko!" he greeted, much too loudly for her just-woken up ears, "So, we were thinking we could all hang out in the dining hall? Just to celebrate our not being dead, y'know? Build morale! Everyone's gonna be there!" 

She squinted. They wanted her at their party? Ha! Surely she would just ruin it… 

Though it did feel exceptionally rude to say no when he had gone out of his way to ask her. With a small groan, Toko opened her door the rest of the way and stepped out. 

"F-Fine. Don't get used t-t-to it." 

She checked to make sure she had her key before she pulled the door shut and left, walking with Makoto from her dorm to the dining hall. 

"You don't talk to many people, right?" Makoto asked out of nowhere, looking up slightly at her, "Why is that?" 

"...I haven't b-b-bothered making friends w-with anyone here, if th-that's what you mean. Th-There's no point. I p-p-plan to get out of here, n-not just accept it." 

Her answer and tone may have been harsh, but she meant it. She didn't want to get attached to her 'classmates,' as no doubt when they escaped Hope's Peak would be no more, and she would never see them again. 

Including her soulmate. 

And that was okay. 

That was fine. Toko was used to being alone. Friends were stupid, friends broke your heart and ended up skewered on her scissors- 

"Toko?" 

Toko was thrust from her thoughts, realizing she had stopped walking. 

"S-Sorry. I… f-f-found myself lost in th-thought." 

She didn't wait for his response, instead stepping into the dining hall. Everyone was already there, even Byakuya had shown up and was watching everyone analytically from the far wall. 

… 

Toko had agreed to come, but now that she was here she realized she had.. no interest in speaking to any of these people. However, she was already here… 

She huffed and left Makoto to go talk to whoever he wanted, making her own way to a different wall to join Byakuya in judging their classmates. 

Of course, their solidarity in this didn't last long. As she watched, Sayaka Maizono took a pen from Kyoko Kirigiri, drawing a small heart on Makoto's cheek. 

"Look, now you're one step closer to being an e-boy!" She had laughed, stopping only when the small Chihiro Fujisaki had gasped, yelling 'Look!'

Everyone turned their eyes to her, looking at where she pointed - a confused Byakuya, a Byakuya could not see the heart that appeared under his eye in the exact same spot as Makoto's. 

Junko pulled out a pocket mirror to show him, and immediately Byakuya groaned. 

"You're the idiot with chicken scratch handwriting?" He asked with a huff, rolling up his left sleeve to reveal quick, scribbled notes. Makoto laughed and tugged his own sleeve, showing the exact same notes. 

"I… forgot my soulmate could see those…" he laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. 

Byakuya rolled his eyes, muttering an, "Of course you did, commoner…" but no less fixed his sleeve and pushed himself off from the wall, joining Makoto's little group of friends and listening to their conversation. 

It seemed their entire class had grouped off. Junko and Celestia seemed to have made their way to a corner, seeming to be gossiping about everyone else. Hifumi was at a table with soulmates Hina and Sakura, who were trying to talk to him about… whatever it was he was interested in. 

Byakuya had, of course, joined Makoto's conversation with Sayaka, Hiro, and Kyoko. God knew what that could be about, they were such a mismatch group… 

Other than them, there was the last group - Mondo, Taka, Chihiro, and- 

Well actually, Leon had been with them, but now she didn't see him anywhere… 

"You look like you'd rather be anywhere else." 

She jumped at the sudden voice, immediately putting up her hands between her and her attacker with wide eyes- 

Leon was looking down at her, looking both concerned and confused. 

Not her attacker. Just Leon. Who, despite his… punk appearance, didn't seem to be that bad of a person. Toko lowered her arms and quickly straightened her posture. 

"You good? Sorry, didn't mean to scare ya'!" Leon laughed. Toko looked pointedly away from him. Eye contact made her skin crawl. 

"Y-You didn't scare m-m-me," that was a lie. Yes he did, "A-Anyway. Do you n-need something?" 

"Nope!" Leon popped the 'p,' "But, when I go to parties my favourite pass-time is usually talking to the people who look least interested in being here! Try and get ya' more involved." 

"H-How often does that a-a-actually work?" 

"More often than ya'd think!" Leon chuckled and held out a plastic cup to her. He had been holding two. 

"Wh-What is this?" she asked, squinting up at him as she skeptically took it. It looked like regular fruit punch, but just in case… 

"It's not spiked! There's no alcohol here if I'd wanted to, and I wouldn't give anyone any without them knowing! That's fucked." 

Toko nodded and sipped the punch - yeah, it was fine. 

"So why are you standin' all alone? Why'd you agree to come if ya don't want to be here?" Leon leaned against the wall as well, looking out over their 'classmates' instead of at her. 

"Wh-What, you wouldn't d-d-dislike the only person who didn't sh-show up? I'm al-already one of the lesser liked p-people." 

Leon waved his hand dismissively while Toko took another sip of the punch he'd brought her. 

"I don't think you are! Just more shy than the rest of us, yeah?" He took a swing of his own punch, grinning down at her, "Anyway. I don't dislike you." 

Toko scoffed. In her opinion, Leon probably would be nice to any girl who spoke to him - Toko just so happened to be the apple of his eye because she was alone at that moment… Ugh! She hates guys like him. 

"Y-You have more of a shot with S-S-Sayaka, you know. I'm not… wh-whatever you th-think you'll get out of th-this." 

She told him exactly how it was, fully aware it was rather harsh. Toko had no interest in sleeping with Leon if that's what he wanted from her or whatever else. 

Just because she knew she was ugly and unlikable, didn't mean she would sleep around every chance she got, whether it was a guy attractive as Leon or not. She was content being alone forever. 

… And whether her soulmate wanted her or not, Toko refused to be like her father or mothers. She would never get them - but she wasn't going to pretend soulmates aren't supposed to mean anything. It was still kind of cheating to her. 

Even if they were going to reject her, Toko… had a feeling deep down that whoever they were, she… wasn't going to be able to return the favour if she ever found out. 

So she could never find out. 

Toko was so caught up in her own thoughts she almost didn't hear Leon's response, only tuning back in just in time to hear the hurt in his voice. 

"Hey, I'm not like that! - Ah, not anymore, anyway. I gotta be careful here…" Leon pulled a pen from his pocket, twirling it around like a drummer would his drum stick, "Soulmate's here somewhere!" 

… His was, too? How many of their classmates were soulmates? Byakuya and Makoto, Hina and Sakura, her and her own, Leon's… 

"I-I see…" she rubbed her arm with her free hand, taking a large swing of her punch. Leon wasn't as much of a sleeze as she thought… "S-Sorry. I assumed…" 

Leon waved his hand dismissively again, pocketing the pen, "All good! Don't blame you. I did that a lot for a year or so there - Soulmate seemed uninterested in even writing back, so… a guy gets lonely! But now that I'm so close to 'em…" 

Leon took a drink, scratching the back of his head, chuckling. 

"Don't wanna waste this chance, y'know?" 

Toko… didn't know. She scratched at the end of her sleeve, the part covering her soulmate and her's conversation - it was only just starting to fade. She didn't know what it was like to want to meet them. 

"Did you have yours before this?" Leon asked like Toko hadn't gone completely silent halfway through their conversation, "I know you write romance, so…" 

"N-No," she answered honestly, "I don't… k-know who it is."

Leon furrowed his eyebrows, looking down at her for a second like he knew something she didn't, then looked back up at everyone in the dining hall. 

"No clue, huh? ...Yeah, I don't either. I'd test it, draw on my face like Makoto, but…" he sighed, looking defeated, "Scared they'll think I'm like you did, y'know?" 

… 

Someone like Leon Kuwata could be nervous about his soulmate, too? Ha! 

"P-Please… I don't th-think anyone would reject y-you," Toko scoffed. She had run out of punch a few minutes ago, and Leon had too, she was pretty sure. Neither of them made a move to get more. 

"Would you?" 

It didn't register what he was asking for a few seconds, and then she had to think. 

If Leon was her soulmate - it was a possibility, she supposed. She had to consider that - that they both had one within the school, so… 

Toko shook her head the smallest bit to clear her thoughts. No, Leon had a soulmate like Sayaka or Junko. Not her. Not Toko. That wasn't… that couldn't be it. 

"Wh-Why does it matter? I-I'm not your s-soulmate." 

Leon shrugged, "I guess. Just curious." 

"R-Right…" 

Leon finally seemed to notice their matching empty cups, and pushed himself off the wall, standing up straight. 

"Anyway!" he held his hand out, "Want me to get you more to drink?" 

Toko shook her head, lowering the empty cup to her side, "N-No. I'm… I'm g-going to bed." 

She pushed herself off the wall, quickly making her way through the dining hall. 

Behind her, she wanted to pretend she didn't hear Leon call, "Night Toko!" 

… 

She threw the cup in the trash as she walked by, leaving the room before anyone else could stop her. 

She didn't need Leon's pity-friendship and kindness. That was a waste; she was fine alone. She had always been fine alone. He could find his actual soulmate and she could continue pretending she didn't care. 

It was fine. 

The next morning at breakfast, Makoto (who had… for some reason taken charge of everyone's responsibilities) assigned Toko to clean around the dining hall with Sayaka. 

She was praying that it would pass in silence - conversation always felt longer than silence. 

No dice. 

"Sooo Toko! You're a romance writer, right? Does that mean you know your soulmate?" 

… Why did every single conversation she had with anyone always start or end with soulmates? 

"N-No. I don't." 

She hoped that maybe her harsh tone would make Sayaka realize she wasn't interested but… once more, Sayaka proved equally conversational to Leon. 

At least they would match when they found each other… Toko was still positive they matched too well to not be soulmates. 

"That sucks! I'm sorry. I… knew mine before we got here, but it seems like most people haven't - or are finding them here." 

… Or not. 

"Y-You… you did?" Was she sure? That didn't add up - it had to be Leon, right? They matched so well… 

Well actually, Toko hadn't seen them speak more than once… So it seemed she was wrong. 

Interesting. Leon and Toko were both running out of options for their soulmates… Ha! How disappointed would Leon be if it turned out to be each other? 

… She didn't need to worry about it. They weren't. 

"Yeah!" Sayaka's response whipped her from her thoughts, "My childhood friend and bandmate, actually - Ayaka." 

Toko still couldn't believe it wasn't Leon. She had been so sure… 

"I-I see. I'm sorry. I a-assume you miss her." 

"Lots!" Sayaka laughed sadly, tossing the broom she held back in forth between her hands, "Well… when we get out, I'm sure you'll find them!" 

If she was lucky, she would make it that long without. 

Toko let the conversation die down as she made her way into the kitchen to clean in there. She was tired of soulmate talk.

The next day, she was searching the classroom 1-B alone when she heard a scream from the one next door - running into the room only revealed that Mondo Oowada and Ishimaru Kiyotaka were locked in a tight embrace. 

"Wh-What the Hell did you shout for?!" She snapped at the two, only to watch as both boys held up their arms and showed matching notes of something Toko didn't care to read. 

… So they weren't Leon's or her's, either. 

Toko turned on her heel and scoffed, "T-Try to keep it d-d-down. Some of us are t-trying to work." 

She went to a classroom across the floor after that. 

So tired of thinking about soulmates. 

The next day she requested Makoto send her to the garden alone, he'd granted that request. 

If Toko's searching was lacking because she spent most of her time calculating the likelihood of Leon being her soulmate… well… Makoto didn't need to know. 

Either way… with Byakuya, Makoto, Sakura, Hina, Mondo, Ishimaru, and Sayaka out… 

… Toko had a one in seven chance of being soulmates with Leon. She hated that she knew that. She didn't want it to keep narrowing it down, she didn't want to ever find out- 

She didn't want Leon to reject her. 

She'd talked to him once at dinner the night after the 'party,' and he just… conversed! Like she was normal. Like she was any other girl that wasn't her, and he was fine with it. 

She hated it. She hated so much that she was beginning to enjoy his company… and she hated that if they turned out to be soulmates… he would never talk to her again. 

And Toko… really hated the fact that made her feel scared.

  
The following day, Makoto instructed her to rest. 

"The garden, gym, and music room are most exhausting, so you go ahead and rest today, alright Toko? That way, you can work hard tomorrow!" 

… Toko knew full well the only reason Makoto worried about that was because Hifumi had been so exhausted the past two days he had to sleep after two days of searching the music room. 

No less, she wasn't complaining. She wanted to work on a book idea, anyway… 

So after she ate breakfast, she put away her dishes as usual and made her way to her room, triple checking her door lock, before sitting down at her desk with a pad of notebook paper.

And Toko was truly so exhausted of being around soulmates, talking about soulmates, thinking about soulmates… that for the first time in her entire writing career, Toko wrote a story that wasn't a romance. 

The next morning, Toko woke up early enough to reread all she had written yesterday - it was only a first chapter, but it was a start. She doubted her editor would let her publish anything but romance, but she had written it no less. 

It was a mystery - a murder mystery. Nothing at all like she had written prior, but she liked it no less. 

She liked it so much that as she left her dorm that morning she felt happy! Excited, even. She just… had a good feeling about the day. 

She ate her breakfast at the same table as Leon (by his choice, even!) and didn't bat an eye when Makoto was handing out assignments. 

"Toko, Leon, can you take the library?" 

Leon nodded with a thumbs up and a wink as he always did, while Toko nodded as well. 

"Y-Yeah, we got i-it!" She stuttered out, going as far as to smile slightly at Makoto. 

"Uh… Toko, you okay?" He'd ask, and she couldn't even be annoyed. 

"F-Fine," she answered, standing up, "I just… h-have a good feeling. Wh-What? Is that not a-allowed?"

Makoto waved his hands frantically, apologizing, "That's not what I meant! Sorry!" 

Toko laughed, amazingly, "I-I was messing with you, M-M-Makoto. I know." 

Makoto stared at her in shock a moment before he laughed, too, as did Leon. 

"I didn't know you could joke, Toko!" Leon chuckled, standing up as well, "Good one!" He patted her shoulder gently, then picked up her plate as well as his, "Anyway, we got it covered, 'Koto! I'll wash up if you get paper and bags, Toko." 

Toko nodded and watched as Makoto left to go to the gym with Byakuya, as… Makoto always grouped the known soulmate pairs together. That's why Toko had been bounced around. 

No less, she happily picked up two bags and paper, waiting at the door for Leon, who soon joined her. 

She held onto their supplies as they walked in a calm silence all the way to the library, when she held out his bag and the sheet of paper- 

"O-Oh… I only g-grabbed one… my m-mistake!" 

Even her mistake didn't feel like it was dampening her mood. She felt great! She hadn't felt this happy in years. 

"Ah! It's all good, I'll use my arm!" 

Toko shook her head, holding the paper out to him, "I-It's okay! I'll use m-my arm, I made the m-m-mistake." 

Leon raised one eyebrow, but upon seeing the lack of argument from Toko, he shrugged and nodded, "Alright. Let me know if you find anything good!" 

With that, they unspokenly divided the library in half. 

For a good ten minutes, Toko looked over every inch of the shelves ( it seemed like every time they cleared the shelves of supplies Makoto wanted, they restocked), making little notes on her arm. At some point, Leon began humming a song. It was nice. 

And then, Leon stopped humming. He gasped, though Toko just assumed he found something rare. Then, as she went to add the Sci-Fi novel to her arm list, she spotted something on her palm - writing she hadn't done. 

She read it with furrowed eyebrows, though as soon as it set in what she had read, her expression turned to shock and she slowly, very slowly, turned to face Leon. 

Leon, who was grinning brightly at her with his palm shown to her, sporting the exact same message Toko wore. 

'Found you.' 

Every second of good mood Toko had vanished. Her throat felt tight, her eyes felt watery. No, No that couldn't be it! It couldn't be Leon. 

It can't be Leon, the first person to laugh at her jokes. The first person to want her to be included in things. That was her first friend she could ever remember making… 

And now he was going to hate her. He was going to hate everything about her because he was cursed to be her soulmate. 

She couldn't stop it as tears began falling. The bag that held her collected supplies fell from her hands with a loud bang. 

He was going to hate her. 

Leon was going to hate her just like everyone else.

"Oh, fuck, hold up, Toko-?" 

She didn't respond. Her feet began carrying her faster than her brain could think, out of the library and down the stairs - she could hear Leon behind her, but even the Ultimate Baseball Star couldn't keep up with Toko Fukawa running from her problems. 

That's what she did best. 

Her door slammed shut behind her, the lock snapping into place with a loud 'click,' and she sank down against the door, knees-to-chest. It was only a few seconds later she heard knocking on her door, pounding. 

She didn't move. She couldn't face him, she couldn't face his rejection. She refused. 

She couldn't do it. 

…

Toko was suddenly very thankful the walls were sound proof, because the broken, choked sobs that escaped her would have only made him hate her more. 

She didn't leave her dorm at all throughout the rest of the day. She ran out of tears, eventually, but even then she didn't stand up. 

When more people came and knocked on the door, rattling it against her, all she did was stand up, cross the room, and sit down against the bed instead. 

They all hated her. 

They all hated her because she took Leon from anyone who actually deserved him. She took him from someone he could be happy with, someone pretty and funny and good for him. 

And they hated her more because even now, locked in her room, she was making them worry. 

Toko rested her forehead on her knee and sighed. 

She didn't deserve their concern. She didn't deserve Leon. She didn't deserve any of the good she had been given. 

…

Toko missed the treatment her mothers gave her. That's what she deserved. She wanted to be locked in that damned closet again because at least then she could feel like she was where she belongs. 

Miserable, alone, and most importantly - not dragging anyone else down with her.

She didn't remember falling asleep, but she woke up dehydrated, probably from skipping lunch and dinner and crying for a solid few hours… 

It didn't seem like the morning announcement had played yet, so Toko rolled herself out of bed. She straightened her uniform, simply tugging her hair from it's braids to save the time of fixing them. 

She triple checked the hallway with her head poking out the door before speeding to the dining hall, looking over her shoulder every few seconds - she really really didn't feel like dealing with this. 

She made it to the kitchen with no problem, and to her delight no one was in there yet. She poured a large glass of water, chugging the entire thing quickly before refilling it. 

… She had cried a lot. 

She took the refilled glass back out through the dining hall, leaving that, too. Her intentions were one hundred percent to spend the day in her room again, Makoto's collection assignments be damned. 

However, as she turned the corner into the dorm hallway, she was met with a sight that made her heart sink once again. 

Leon was at her door. Of course he was. 

Something about it… seeing him there, fist raised to knock on her door, made her angry. 

She knew she wasn't worthy. Did he have to tell her? Did he have to make this worse than he already did? 

Toko's teeth clenched, fingers tightening around the glass in her hands.

She made her way forward, made aware of the echoing of her footsteps down the hall when Leon looked up - he looked relieved to see her! 

Probably relieved to finally be able to tell her never to speak to him again. 

"Toko! Thank God, I've been worried-"

"D-Do you have to make this w-w-worse than it already is?" She snapped at him, finally coming to stop, one door down from her own. 

His relieved expression swapped to confusion. 

"What..?" 

"I-I already know, okay? I already kn-know you never want me to s-s-speak to you again, I know you h-hate me now. Why do you h-have to rub it in like th-th-this?! I know!" 

"The Hell are you on about…? That's not at all what I think!" 

Toko shook her head. That's what he thought, that's what everyone thought! 

"I-I know you don't w-want me in your life, so wh-why are you lying?! N-N-No one does and that's o-okay! I'm fine alone, y-you don't need to sugar c-c-coat it! I'm fine!" 

Toko wasn't looking at him. She couldn't. Her hands were shaking. 

"I get i-it, okay? I-I'm an unlovable b-bitch, and I know th-that. So you c-can just move on, okay? J-Just go… do whatever w-will make you happy. I don't c-care." 

Toko Fukawa spent her entire life telling herself that when she was inevitably told by her soulmate they didn't want her, it would be okay. But now… she was facing that. 

Facing her soulmate. 

And it didn't feel okay. She didn't want him to hate her. She never wanted anyone to hate her. She wanted to be like her protagonists, she wanted to be liked, she wanted to be happy… 

"Are you… Toko, are you crying?" 

She hadn't realized she was, but now that she stopped to focus on the cold streaks running down her face - she was crying. 

"... S-Say it." 

"What? Dude, I-I don't know what the Hell you're thinking, but I'm… really confused, man!" 

"S-Say you hate me! Say you n-never want to look at me a-again, tell me every n-n-negative thought you have right n-now so I can move on! S-So I can just s-stop caring what you th-think! So I can stop getting m-my hopes up that you don't!" 

There was silence. The glass of water Toko had held hit the floor, and her hands were wrapped in her hair. She was fully sobbing now. 

"I-I just want to go back, o-okay?! I want to go back t-t-to not caring what you think, I-I want it to be okay that n-no one likes me, I don't want to c-care! So just tell me you hate me already!" 

Her anger was gone - she wasn't even surprised. It was so short lived. She was never the angry type. 

Toko was more the ‘sobbing loudly in the hallway’ type, begging the boy she so desperately wanted to like her to say he hated her. 

More silence. 

Why couldn't he just say it? He'd been so desperate, knocking on her door yesterday and this morning - why couldn't he just come out and say it? 

She half-registered that someone was hugging her. There were arms around her shoulders, and at the same time she just wanted him to tell her, it felt so nice. To just be in someone's arms. 

For a very brief second, she felt like it would be okay. She would be okay. 

Then the adrenaline of the hug died off and she remembered why she was here, why he was hugging her. It wasn't okay. 

"I don't hate you." 

Why? Why was he lying, why did he have to do this? 

"I… I really don't know where this is coming from, so… I'm sorry. I wish I knew you better before this, but… Jesus, dude. I don't hate you." 

He doesn't have to lie! He can just tell her. 

It's okay. 

It's okay if he doesn't like her. 

It's okay if he never wants to see her again. 

It's okay if no one does. 

It's okay. 

It's… 

"I can't lie and tell you I do, y'know? That's messed up. I don't hate you. I want to keep talking to you - just - everything you said you want me to say, it's the opposite. I don't hate you." 

It's not okay. 

It's not okay if he hates her, because she doesn't hate him. Because she cares. 

Because she's tired of being alone and he's her soulmate, he's supposed to be there for her, and he is and she doesn't want him to hate her. 

Toko's hands untangled from her hair, wrapping around him instead, clutching the fabric on his jacket like if she didn't he would disappear. 

"D-Don't…" She choked out, she was still sobbing, "D-Don't hate me. P-Please, please don't, I'm s-sorry you're stuck with me! I'm s-s-sorry, but please…" 

His voice was soft - softer than she'd ever heard it - as he spoke against the top of her hair. 

"I don't hate you. I do not hate you, Toko. Whatever… bullshit your brain is telling you right now, it's not true. I like you. I like talking to you. I'm so fucking glad you turned out to be my soulmate. I want to spend more time with you. I want to get to know you. I don't hate you." 

I don't hate you. I don't hate you, I don't hate you. 

Toko replayed his words in her head over and over again, trying to grasp them. 

He doesn't hate her. He does not hate her. 

For the first time in what must have been her entire life, Toko was able to tune out the cruel words of her mothers that she felt she was always hearing. Instead, she listened to Leon. 

He held her until she stopped crying (honestly, it was a wonder she had tears left…), petting her hair and muttering random words of comfort. 

Finally, she pushed herself away from him, wiping her face with her sleeve. 

"I'm s-sorry," she looked up at him, hoping she wasn't too much of a trainwreck at that moment, "I-I… I'm not used to… k-k-kindess. At all." 

Leon stepped back as well, putting one of his hands in his pocket, rubbing the back of his neck with the other, "Hey, it's all good! Get used to it, though - I'm legally required to spoil the hell out of you now, okay?" 

She laughed quietly at that, lifting up her glasses so she could rub her eye. 

"I can't p-promise that…" 

He grinned, too, chuckling as well now that she had, "Anyway. You alright dude? You had me hella worried for a bit there." 

Toko nodded, "Y-Yes, I'm fine. I'm s-s-sorry, I lashed out at y-you." 

"Nah, all good! Ended up well, yeah?" She nodded again at his words, "Hell yeah! Ah... we should clean this up, yeah?" 

She was confused for a moment, then he gestured down - oh. When she had dropped the glass, it had shattered and the water had spilled. 

“O-Oh, my mistake…” toko dropped to her knees, picking out the largest chunks of class, “I-I’ll get it cleaned! S-Sorry.”

She wasn’t aware that Leon had knelt down with her until they reached for the same shard of glass. She looked up at him, shocked, “Wh-What, you’re helping?” He nodded with that signature grin he seemed to always wear, “B-But I’m the one t-that dropped it.”

“And? I made you drop it, yeah? I’ll help ya out! No biggie.”

…

Last time she’d been stupid enough to drop a glass, she’d been yelled at through the closet door. What an improvement…

“...Th-Thank you.”

They picked up glass in silence, and Toko found herself… enjoying it. Not cleaning up glass, that was tedious, and she was incredibly afraid of cutting her finger. 

She was enjoying being with Leon. He was nice to be around, now that she wasn’t sobbing. 

  
When the glass was cleaned up and they’d gotten a towel from the storage room and put it over the water, they stood up and Toko found herself smiling up at him. 

She had prepared a lot for rejection. She had to, because for as long as she could remember that’s what she was told would happen. She was told daily no one wanted her, not even her own parents. And she tried exceptionally hard to be ready for the day where she was rejected as she knew she would be -

And then Leon goddamn Kuwata came along and threw her entire world view into the fan and said he was glad to be her soulmate. Glad. To be with her! 

They stood in the hallway another moment, when Monokuma’s morning announcement came on, and people started leaving their rooms. A few offered the smiles, looking at Toko with concern, but didn’t stop to ask if she was okay. 

I was after Makoto walked by, waving at Toko and Leon with the hand that wasn’t in Byakuya’s, that Leon offered his own hand to Toko.

“Walk to breakfast with me?”

She stared at his hand like it would shock her for a solid ten seconds before taking it in her own, smiling up at Leon, nodding.

“Y-Yeah. I’d love to.”

It was maybe seven days later that Toko and Leon were searching the nurse’s office together that she spotted another note on her palm.

Since their exceptionally dramatic heart-to-heart, Leon had taken to writing notes on his arm so that Toko would get them too - ‘Your smile is cute :),’ ‘you’re pretty :)’

It took Toko a couple days to not blush and squeak every time, and another two to start returning them. 

Leon would write something like ‘Your eyes are pretty!! I’m gonna get lost in em,’ and Toko would return, ‘You’re a complete nerd. Your hair looks amazing today.’

It truly was a glorious setup that couldn’t result in them getting jokingly teased for being affectionate like Sakura and Hina did. 

Today, though, his note was different than his dorky ones, instead reading ‘hey you look pretty and i want to kiss you’

Toko stared at her palm a moment, immediately reverting back to her response from a few days ago, face going red and unable to voice anything that wasn’t a shocked squeak. She heard Leon chuckle behind her.

“You alright, Toko?”

“Sh-Shut up!’

She covered her face with her hands, listening as he chuckled more and then seemed to go back to searching the room. 

Oh, that was cruel! She absolutely had to get them back. After… After she regained her composure. Because to be rather frank, she wanted to kiss him, too. 

It was a solid four minutes, but she did eventually manage to stand up straight. Turning to see where he was. Leon was across the office, digging through a cabinet. She took a deep breath, straightening her shoulders and walking over to him.

“L-L-Leon.”

He turned to her immediately, tilting his head, “Feelin’ better now, eh?”

She didn’t respond, instead reaching up and grabbing the front of his jacket, tugging him down to her level and doing exactly as he said - kissing him. 

She’d never kissed anyone before, though she’d written enough scenes about it that she was somewhat confident - not that she needed to worry too much, as after a second he took the lead, his arms wrapping around her waist while hers left his jacket to wrap around his shoulders.

It was… good. 

There wasn't a word Toko couldn’t think of to describe how good, even as the Ultimate Writing Prodigy. Nothing in her vocabulary could express how much she enjoyed the kiss.

She would have been completely fine never breaking it, but Leon seemed fully aware they needed oxygen, and eventually pulled away, both of them breathless, leaning his forehead against hers, eyes still closed. 

As Toko watched him regaining his breath, doing the same herself, her face grew red once more - holy shit. Holy shit, he was so beautiful. And he was hers, she got the most beautiful boy she had ever seen as a soulmate. 

He opened his eyes after a few moments, grinning at Toko once more.

“What? Enjoying the view or somethin’?”

“...Y-Yeah. I am,” she couldn’t help being honest.

“Aww, if you’re not careful I’ll think you have a crush on me or something!” 

She scoffed, joining into his laughter, “A-As if!”

“What, I’m not your type?” He mocked shock, one hand leaving her waist to go to his chest, “I’m wounded!”

She took one of her own arms back from his neck, pushing his shoulder, not hard enough to push him away. 

“Could you j-j-just shut up and k-kiss me again? P-Please.”

“So demanding!” He rolled his eyes with no real malice, but he returned his arm to around her, and hers made its way back to his neck, “Yeah, okay! Since you asked nicely.”

And he did. 

**Author's Note:**

> Anyway ik this is like... the rarest of pairs, but... Papercut slaps.


End file.
